Seems like a conundrum right? Well - for the last few years through some character training I have been going through I have come to the realization in life, that it is not about me. This was a big revelation for someone who has my personality where it can easily be all about me.ÂÂÂ
To be honest, some days it still can be about me. This is something I constantly think about and try and correct, but some days selfishness still gets me. I have a feeling I am not the only one. But, on other days it needs to be about me - how I am reacting to other people. Let me share a story.ÂÂÂ
For some time now I have observed someone I know and it seems like every time this person opens their mouth I just cringe. I have been asking myself lately, why do I do that? Is it about the person who appears very needy and can suck the life out of people around them? Or, is it about how I am reacting to that person because of something that is inside my own brain and heart? Or - is it both? Probably the latter - both.ÂÂÂ
So what can I do with that today? I can be a loving person to the person I am referencing, and that love may be expressed from a distance with very limited interaction. I can watch my own heart and mind to see how I react to people and situations - and then have peace that I am doing the right thing.ÂÂÂ
I don’t know if this problem resonates with any of you - but just wanted to process through it a bit - and I feel like I have made some progress already. JVD
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. If we are honest, we all share your struggle to find that place of both/and where we recognize that it is not all about us but it is about us as well. In this journey it is important we learn how to react to others and examine ourselves as we are in relationship with them. By acknowledging what we’re thinking inside and the struggle we bear to find the both/and we have the battle half won and victory is made sure.
Thanks for your honesty. This is something I absolutely struggle with on a daily basis. With certain individuals I have such a hard time… loving. This year has been a battle within myself. I used to think that the people I struggle the most with had the problem, but I realized the problem was my own heart. So, each day I set out & choose to love that person. It takes more of a conscious effort than with others,you know. I also focused on being a servant to the individual. And, since I have made a habit of doing these things, I have noticed that it’s not much of a choice or effort anymore - I genuinely love that person (it is no longer forced)…sounds too simple, I know - but I tend to struggle with the simplicities.
Thanks for stopping by both of you - it is fun to journey together in a virtual community kind of way - I appreciate your perspectives. JVD